Shame can be very crippling to anyone who’s experiencing it, and produces troubling or confusing behaviors as well. Rather than properly interpreting what you’ve done as bad, shame says you are bad. Shame can happen when you’re made aware of your wrongdoing by condemnation (feeling disapproved of from others or from self). Conviction (feeling a God-led sorrow about sin, 2 Cor. 7:10) leads to repentance and proper guilt without unhealthy shame.

Characteristics Of Shame

Shame applies pressure on you to let the world know you’re no good.
Shame humiliates you to try to keep you from making the same mistake again.
Shame can stop a behavior, but also has nasty side effects.
Shame embarrasses you for who you are.
Shame leaves you feeling blamed and judged.
Shame gives you a strong sense of embarrassment, guilt, disgrace, or unworthiness.
Shame makes you painfully aware of what you lack.
Shame causes you to fear you can never be free of the hold of a certain sin.
Shame tells you that you’re powerless.
Shame insists that you numb your feelings.
Shame tries to convince you that you can’t face God.

Characteristics of Repentance

Repentance asks you to take your sin seriously.
Repentance gently reminds you how you’ve violated God’s commands.
Repentance leads you to confess your sin to God.
Repentance gives you a chance for a new way.
Repentance takes you in the other direction of sin.
Repentance accepts you for who you are.
Repentance acknowledges your sin, but doesn’t attach it to your identity.
Repentance offers you grace and forgiveness.
Repentance leaves you feeling loved, supported, and encouraged.
Repentance frees you and empowers you.
Repentance guides you to face your feelings and respond appropriately.
Repentance draws you closer to God.

“In You, O Lord, I put my trust; let me never be put to shame.” (Ps. 71:1)

The only One who has the right to make you feel shame, doesn’t. Instead, on the cross He carried all the shame for you. (Is. 53:3)