Long before social media, people were comparing themselves to others. In fact, you can trace it back to the Garden of Eden. Comparison can feel as natural as breathing and like something that can’t be helped. At best, humans make comparisons in order to learn and grow. Other times, a neutral comparison is made to ideas, people, or lives to simply note similarities and differences. But, the worst happens after a fall into the comparison trap. Regularly or even obsessively making comparisons leads to envy, pride, judgmental attitude, discontentment, competitiveness, insecurity, people-pleasing, bitterness, anxiety, depression, or selfishness. The Bible offers a 3-part solution as a lifeline out of this trap, giving Christians an opportunity to take comparison back from the world and offer it up to God.

1) Practice Grieving

The pain and heartbreak found in disappointments, loss, and unrealized dreams can make you vulnerable to all the consequences that come with comparisons. To protect yourself from the dangers of the comparison trap, it really helps to acknowledge and grieve your personal hardship:

• In faith, use the language of Psalms to help you express your feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, longing, heartbreak, loss, etc. so that you can order your emotions toward God’s heart instead of to man’s opinions (Gal. 1:10).
• Remember that once you receive this comfort from your Father, you’ll have the comfort to share with someone else who is struggling as well (2 Corinthians 1:4). Spending time comforting and being comforted brings more productivity and healing than making comparisons to one another or to what you don’t have.
• Discover that grieving, like comparison, is a natural, even necessary part of humanity. Click here for an article to learn more about incorporating grief into your life in healthy and productive ways.

2) Practice Self-Discipline

Yes, you’re designed to compare yourself – but not to anyone or anything of status according to this world. In fact, to do so is unwise (2 Corinthians 10:12). There are more productive comparisons you can make to help you avoid the comparison trap, allowing Jesus to redeem the act of making comparisons. First, practice comparing yourself now to who you were before God changed your heart. Allow this to give you a fresh gratitude for what was done for you on the cross (Eph. 2:1-10). And then begin to compare yourself to God because no one is holy like Him (1 Samuel 2:2). Comparing yourself to your unrepentant self and to a holy God leads to observable differences that become significant. Most especially, comparing yourself to God is a) a beautiful act of humility and b) softens the heart for the Holy Spirit to sanctify you into becoming more and more like Christ. Some practical ways to compare rightly are:

• Selectively decide what you bring into your home through media (knowing your own unique weaknesses) so you won’t become consumed with comparing yourself to worldly, trendy matters that take you away from the true doctrine of Jesus Christ (2 John 10). At the same time, raise your knowledge of Jesus through Scripture for a better comparison that brings you closer to Christ.
• Strengthen your confidence in order to make wise comparisons only, and not get caught in the worldly comparison trap. You can develop this confidence that protects you by:
  • Reminding yourself regularly of the truth that your approval and purpose come from God (Romans 1:6, 2 Corinthians 10:18).  
  • Developing and using your spiritual gifts (Romans 12:1-8, 1 Corinthians 12).
  • Discovering and caring for your sphere of influence (2 Corinthians 10:13-18, Acts 17:26).
  • Listening for and discerning the Holy Spirit’s leading in your life based on His will for you and not His will for someone else (Romans 12:1-2, 1 Corinthians 12:1-27).
  • Letting your comparisons be humble, grace-filled, self-evaluations for learning, growing, and flourishing in Christ (Proverbs 31:28-31, John 3:30, Ephesians 2:10).

3) Practice Loving

The comparison trap was made by the devil and decorated by the world. But, the world doesn’t get to design how Christians think of themselves or others, interact with others, or love others. Scripture sets forth the best way for believers to think, interact (not carelessly compare), and love one another:

• Remember your adversary. He’s the one behind the temptation to make worldly comparisons that lead to negative consequences. And he causes your brothers and sisters to share that same struggle with you (1 Corinthians 12:26, Ephesians 6:18, 1 Peter 5:9-10).
• It’s easy to feel either jealous or prideful once you begin comparing yourself to others. But love does not envy, and instead thinks of others as greater than one’s self (1 Corinthians 13:4, Philippians 2:3).
• Christians are made free from having to adhere to certain expectations that come from comparing lifestyles, parenting, career, etc. and can have a higher peace that comes from having an undivided heart of love for Him (Colossians 2-3).
• The Body of Christ is called to be one body of diverse members with the same care (1 Corinthians 12:12, 25). How can you be caring while you’re comparing?
• Making comparisons is rarely profitable for serving others, and tends to be self-centered. Christ-followers have the charge of being others-focused, prioritizing even the least of these (Matthew 25:45).
• Joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, each member of the Body of Christ is to be causing growth of the Body in love (Ephesians 4:16).
• Christians are supposed to do good to all, most especially those in the household of faith (Galatians 6:10). Thus, it’s especially hurtful when one church member is withholding good from another church member, which can happen when making comparisons. Instead of making comparisons to others, do good to your brothers and sisters in Christ remembering these commands:
  • Rejoice and weep together (Romans 12:15).
  • Stir up love, promote good works, assemble together, and exhort one another towards being made perfect in Christ Jesus (Hebrews 10:24, 25, Colossians 1:28).
  • With one mind and one mouth, glorify God our Father of the Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 15:5-6).
  • Endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit and remain in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).
  • Expend your energy serving one another, praying, being hospitable, and championing others (Romans 12:9-21).
• There is a generation hungry to know who God is and what His Word teaches. Replace the time you spend comparing yourself to others with praying for and serving your friends and family (Lamentations 2:19).

Prayer & Blessing

If I will that he (do this or that)…what is that to you? You.Follow.ME. (John 21:22, 23)