I’d like to share with my readers the story of a widow named Jackie, who I met on one of my recent travels. In the few hours I was privileged to visit with Jackie, she shared how she’d just spent the previous six months caring for her dying husband, Thom. Quickly, I discovered that this stranger-turned-friend is actually an example of what it means to “walk in the Spirit” (Gal. 5:25). Jackie commented to me that if her sister, the woman who knew her better than anyone, had been a betting woman, she would have placed all odds against Jackie as a caregiver, much less as a “hospice nurse.” Indeed, it wasn’t because Jackie is gifted with tenderness and mercy or educated in medicine that she was able to handle the care of her husband on his death bed. Quite the contrary. Her story reveals her secrets.

Jackie’s Prayer

Every morning during Thom’s illness, before Jackie’s feet hit the floor, she would sit on the side of her bed and ask the Lord a single request for the day.  “Lord, will You give me the strength to care for Thom today?”

Then she would wearily, yet faithfully, move to his in-home hospital bed and begin providing some of the most humiliating, undignified care for his body while he lay paralyzed and speechless. Indeed, through Jackie, God was caring for Thom and ministering to the Spirit of Christ in Thom. It was just as Jesus describes in Matthew when He says, “Assuredly I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brothers you did it to Me.” (Mt. 25:40)

Jackie would regularly find herself amazed at what she could do for her husband – for Jesus in him, even. Yet, Jackie had also come to expect the kind of power that was flowing in her. After all, she had prayed to her Father who gives His grace and resurrection power to those who are humbly obeying what He calls them to do.

And the Lord delighted to give her some encouragement along the way, such as the time Thom said “Thank you” when he had previously gone weeks without saying a word. Or the time she played Gospel music for him, and he tried to dance with his paralyzed foot. Jackie was experiencing the presence of the Spirit of the Lord for this caregiving season and He enabled her to do what would have been humanly impossible for her otherwise. She knew it was all God and she gave Him all the credit for it.

Jackie’s Emotional Intelligence

Jackie could have used any number of excuses not to trust God, not feel up to the task of caring for a dying man, or to just be too weary from hard things. There are more than a few reasons she could have felt justified in saying she was too weak:

• “I had the hard life of immigration, coming to the United States when I was 12 years old.”
• “My dad only had a 6^th grade education and could only teach me so much.”
• “My mother was in a terrible bus accident and was left partially deaf. I had to grow up fast to help her.”
• “I got pregnant as a teenager and had to go live in a home for unwed mothers.”
• “This is my second husband; I’ve already lived through one hard marriage to my son’s father.”
• “My family members and support did not live close by. During the pandemic I was alone most days.”
• “I don’t have the skills and resources to know how to do this caregiving.”
• “My grandson’s in Iraq fighting for our country and dealing with harsh circumstances. I don’t have the fortitude to worry about him and do this exhausting nursing work at the same time.”
• “I’m old.”

But when you meet Jackie, you have to pull the difficulties of her life out of her. Her hardships are not what lead or define her. Her natural human emotions are not running amuck inside her.

What You See in Jackie

Jen with Jackie

Moral of the Story

1. Exercise Faith. When you need to do something hard that you don’t want to do or don’t think you can do, pray and expect resurrection power, strength, and grace to do what you’re being called to do.
2. Desire Emotional Maturity. What others have done to you or how you feel about things are not the most pressing matters, and your feelings are not the most important part of you. Make following and obeying Christ more of a priority than what you think or how you feel. Then you’ll be walking in the Spirit and knowing His power at work in you.

Prayer & Blessing

“He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.” (1 Thess. 5:24)