In part one of this series, wives were cautioned not to withdraw their trust and cause their husbands to feel punished. Part two covered broken trust among healthy friends and family, and how to respond with the right motives and reduce the chances of anyone feeling punished. And finally, we can now cover the most likely situation in which a person could feel punished by us no matter how hard we try. When a person is especially challenging for you to get along with, struggles to manage big emotions, has poor coping habits, operates out of unhealed trauma, is in bondage to sin or belief patterns, etc. or is just a relationship that lacks safety or closeness, you may feel uncomfortable and maybe even fearful to reveal that they have broken your trust. They might be unkind, defensive, unreasonably angry, or try to manipulate you into dismissing your reasons for believing they can’t be trusted. For example, you might be on a team at work with an unhealthy person who didn’t follow through on an important work assignment and didn’t own up to their shortcomings. If you ask for time or a new effort to be able to trust them again, you might be told that you’re being harsh or unfair, withholding grace, not a team player, or not being a good friend or colleague. In those trickier situations where you’re now blamed or accused, 1) you would not be responsible for any feelings of being punished they may experience, 2) you could lean on the command not to “cast your pearls” before someone harmful (Matthew 7:6) and 3) you could stand confidently in your innocence before God (Daniel 6:22). Oh, how I’ve been in these types of situations where I wanted to take my pearls and hide them far away. Nevertheless, while I may no longer trust a fellow struggler who has broken trust, and they may continue to fail to earn my trust back, I’m still obligated to forgive, to behave lovingly toward them, and focus on my own behavior. To have such holy conduct in the face of hurt and betrayal is accomplished only by the power of prayer and walking by the Spirit. Jesus will help me not take on responsibility if the one in error feels punished, and my prayers will have more impact on this sufferer’s heart than corrective explanations ever could. Special note: Sometimes women find themselves in relationships with unhealed men who fall into this “tricker” category and who refuse to get help. In these cases, wives may not have the same obligations as in the first article and your safety may depend upon you withholding trust in certain areas. Seek specialized help while still loving, praying, and following Jesus every step of the way.