Sara Wallace’s parenting approach comes from a gospel mindset. To summarize her angle: she is always relieved and grateful to learn where her kids are weak (sinful), so that she can use those deficits to lead them to the cross of Christ. Ultimately, she believes that discipline – not punishment – is the best, most meaningful gift she can ever give to her developing children. And now she’s shared this powerful parenting plan in her book For the Love of Discipline: When the Gospel Meets Tantrums and Time-Outs.

Discipline Yourself First

Every mistake you make is an opportunity to acknowledge it before your children, and bring Jesus into the conversation.

Discipline Over Punishment

Since God doesn’t punish His people and only disciplines them, mimic the same to your children. Punishment is concerned with the behavior, but discipline is concerned with the heart.

 Rewards Instead Of Bribes

Bribes focus on disobedience, but done correctly, rewards enable you to celebrate how God is working in your child’s life.

Fearing God Over Fearing Everything Else

Trust yourself and you have worries and anxieties that produce fear; lead your kids to have awe and fear of God and then they can trust Him, which leads to hope and comfort.

Avoiding Too Much Or Too Little Discipline

God’s Word, prayer, and a commitment to balance will give you the wisdom to find the right amount for each situation.

Emotion-led Versus Spirit-led

Emotions play a role in discipline only in order to achieve intimacy; emotions do not belong in discipline as a poor outlet for negative moods nor as an opportunity to manipulate your children to behave rightly.

Having The Right Expectations

Expect your kids to sin – often. Try to make sure you catch them obeying too.

Make Plans And Have Routines

You don’t have to have rigid rules and tight schedules; but plans and routines lead to successful discipline.

Lecturing Doesn’t Work

Use stories and “word bundles” (simple phrases packed with meaning) for optimal learning.

Sibling Rivalry Teaches A Lesson Too

Teaching kids to make peace with one another connects them to the peace of Christ.

“No!” And Tantrums Are Signs That More Teaching Is Needed

Children need expanded response options, parents who consider the causes behind the behaviors, and encouraging motivation to obey.

Don’t Forget To Pray

Don’t micromanage God in your prayers which leads to anxiety, not peace. Instead pray the truths of Scripture for you and your children.

A Note About Spanking

With a discipline book, you may be wondering about the author’s position on spanking. Sara does use spanking in her home, but did not come across judgmental towards readers who do not. Nor did she use this book to convince the reader that you have to spank in order to be a gospel-oriented parent. She focused on gospel principles in your heart, values, relationship, and approach; and then shared examples of what that looks like in her home to spark ideas for yours.

“Discipline yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Heb. 12:11)