Host of the conservative podcast, Relatable, Allie Beth Stuckey has just released her first book, You’re Not Enough (And That’s Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love. Allie’s goal with this book is to help readers detect concepts found in today’s culture that seem Christian – or at least appear compatible with Christianity, but are actually unbiblical. This article will provide an overview of this book, along with recommendations for how to benefit from reading it and sharing it with others.

Who This Book Is Written For

This well-written, quick read is authored by a millennial woman for women of the next generation; but her teaching points are quite applicable for the entire Body of Christ. Allie recovered from her own experiences of buying into the self-love culture when she learned how to deny her own sufficiency, succumb to her own inadequacy, and turn to God to tell her what was true. She wrote this book to encourage readers to reach the same outcome.

Outline Of This Book

The 5 tenants of the self-love culture that Allie refutes in You’re Not Enough are:

• Myth 1: You are enough
• Myth 2: You determine your truth
• Myth 3: You’re perfect the way you are
• Myth 4: You’re entitled to your dreams
• Myth 5: You can’t love others until you love yourself

Suggestions When Reading This Book

• Allie is exactly right that the self-love culture is unbiblical and all Christians need to be careful not to absorb false beliefs. It’s absolutely worth reading her book to know the harmful messages you’re being fed.
• At the same time, the Holy Spirit may direct you to make choices that don’t match exactly as He has led Allie, so keep that in mind as you read a few of her opinions. You can agree with her about culture’s lies without having to respond to every one of the false messages in the same way she does.
• Additionally, it’s wise to be in relationships with others who are also determined to resist absorbing false messages from culture.

Main Ideas Of This Book

ABOUT THE SELF

• Fiercely loving yourself on one extreme, or self-loathing on the other, are indicators of self-obsession leading to unhappiness.
• Resisting the claims of the self-love culture leads to maturity, and to the realization that solutions to struggles are not found within our selves.
• The values of the self-love culture are authenticity and autonomy. The values of the Christ-follower are Christlikeness and obedience.
• Being a Christ-follower defines you and is your highest purpose.

ABOUT THE TRUTH

• Thoughts confuse, feelings (many of which are irrational) deceive, but truth sets a path straight to right and wrong. The capacity for emotion is God-given, but some feelings need repentance.
• Social justice, when limited by culture’s definition, is built on perception. God’s justice is hard for the world to comprehend, but Christians answer to a steady, faithful God, and not to fluctuating standards of society.
• Jesus alone holds the authority to give us identity, purpose, and mission.

ABOUT PERFECTION

• Facing our inadequacies is crucial for appropriate development.
• There are parts of ourselves we need to be rejecting, repentance is needed rather than excuse-making, and we need to be believing things that lead to lasting value.
• Rather than trying to measure up to ever-changing, impossible standards while convincing ourselves that we’re good enough the way we are, we can admit that we’re not good enough and allow Him to make us new.

ABOUT ENTITLEMENT

• Success does not come from self-focus and self-love.
• What we want and how we feel are not all that matters.
• Self-discovery doesn’t lead to fulfillment, and while the work we do in our jobs, homes, and volunteering is good and necessary, vocation is not enough to satisfy.
• Confidence is a gift from God to accept, and enables us to truly experience Him, His glory, and His peace.

ABOUT LOVE

• God’s love makes us better than self-obsessed; it makes us self-sacrificing, like Christ.
• Selfishness is a sin that needs repentance.
• No matter how we feel, His love is sufficient to equip us to love others.

“When we recognize Him as God, removing ourselves from the center, we find the ‘enoughness’ we’ve been craving.”  – Allie-Beth Stuckey, You’re Not Enough (And That’s Okay)