If your teen’s never been to counseling before, you may wonder how to get started. Believe it or not, many teens are eager to try counseling. They’ve heard their friends talk about it and it’s promoted to their generation by varied sources. It’s quite dear how many teens walk into the counseling office saying, “My best friend (boyfriend)(sister) told me to come talk to you.” Sometimes teens will be apprehensive or even skeptical, but after the first time, they quickly discover how useful it can be. Occasionally, a teen will strongly resist counseling, and in that case it might be best for parents to attend counseling in their place. Finally, some teens enjoy attending counseling with a parent, sibling, or a friend – and that can be incredibly effective. Each family is unique in how their teens are best served by counseling.

Common Reasons Teens Go To Counseling

• Anxiety & Depression
• School-related Stress
• Obsessive Thoughts
• Relationship & Friendship Challenges
• Identity & Confidence Struggles
• Disordered Eating & Other Unhealthy Habits
• Loss & Trauma (Including Coping With A Pandemic)

My Approach

1. No matter what a teen is facing, my first goal is to develop a safe, working relationship. It’s truly a privilege when teens are willing to work with me, and my greatest priority is to celebrate the individual adolescent before me and encourage the best for each family.
2. Then, in the context of relationship, I use a framework of holistic development to address goals and needs.

Holistic Development For Teens

Spiritually

Using discernment and creativity, I point teens to the truth of Scripture according to where they are in their faith so they can best receive it and grow wiser.

Relationally

I champion a teen’s relationships with his/her family, siblings, and community so he/she will always have a good support system long after the counseling work has concluded.

Socially

I frequently teach teens skills for navigating anxiety-producing social situations.

Organizationally

The schedules of teens can be dictated by school obligations, emotions, and their phones. One reason teens can be motivated to come to counseling is to get a more ordered lifestyle.

Physically

I encourage healthy eating and exercise as an important part of overall well-being. Most young people do not know how to engage in true rest and can learn this benefit in counseling. Further, I’ve seen a steady increase of eating disorders in my practice the past few years and have spent extensive time learning how to help families who find themselves in this fight.

Mentally

Even before the pandemic, many teens were already dealing with some level of anxiety, including a growing number who are bombarded with obsessive thoughts. Learning how to think more effectively is a significant part of counseling busy brains.

Emotionally

So often, when I mention the idea to teens of increasing their emotional intelligence (EQ), they become very excited to do that work. Thankfully, their willingness to manage their emotions will improve their coping in hardship and leads to success in many other areas of their lives as well.

Intellectually

Parents are often relieved when teens can have their values reinforced by another adult speaking into their lives and encouraging a healthy mindset.

Academically

Every method of being educated today comes with challenges, not to mention an ever-changing climate. Counseling is a great opportunity to process and learn skills to be a better student no matter the school situation.

Vocationally

Understandably, teens can get very caught up in the here-and-now. But discussing with a Christian counselor their purpose and calling can help give motivation, vision, and discipline for their future contribution to God’s work and the overall big picture.

Final Note To Parents

Watching your teens engage in counseling, even make their own appointments, and follow through on new skills will be a very rewarding aspect of making them strong for current circumstances and also preparing them for adulthood. The more you let them take ownership in the process, the more benefits you’ll see from it, and the more they’ll encourage their peers to pursue mental and emotional wellness as well. Teens meeting with a Christian counselor is a great supplement to all the hard work you’ve put into parenting up until this point, and is another way to lead the next generation to have strong faith in Christ.

Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. (Prov. 20:5)