Porn is alarming when it destroys marriages and terrifying when used with trafficking youth, but no less dangerous in its more mundane forms. When you have young people making comments such as “porn is just a normal part of life” and “oh I definitely believe porn will be a struggle for any man I begin to date, or at least happen occasionally for him,” then there has been a cultural, desensitizing shift about pornography.

Wondering who this article is for…

This article can’t possibly address all layers of this issue; nor is it geared for those who have already admitted they have a problem. Instead, this resource is meant to bring awareness to a newfound pervasiveness of porn and help you coach others with truth. Part 1 will help you determine who in your life needs support and why. Part 2 (to be published tomorrow) will give you the truth and tools you need to protect those you love.

Part 1

Wondering who you should check-in with…

• Your teens doing on-line school?
• Your teen who has too much time on his hands, is bored, or is in a stage of rebellion?
• Your child whose computer is not as protected as you wish it were?
• A young adult in your life eager to date?
• Someone you know who has no boundaries with social media and/or technology?
• A loved one who has a lot of secular influences?
• Someone under a lot of stress who might be looking to self-medicate?
• Spouses under extraordinary stress, pressure, or temptation?
• Members of your small group?
• Even the strong believer you are mentoring?
• People in ministry who might think they have to always look like they have it together?
• A woman who has unmet relationship needs?
• A single man spending a lot of time alone?

Wondering what questions to ask to see if he/she has absorbed a porn-indoctrinated mindset…

• Do you believe it is impossible for men to avoid porn? (it IS possible)
• Do you believe porn is just a male problem? (women can struggle too)
• Do you believe porn can be a normal part of sexuality? (it cannot)
• Do you think that porn is a way to learn about sex? (no; it promotes self-gratification, not mutual intimacy)
• Do you consider porn to be an evolution of sexuality? (it is a distortion)
• Would you agree that porn has made its way into some Rated R movies and other easily accessible forms of entertainment? (just watch some old movies for comparison)
• Do you believe porn can be enjoyed in moderation? (it is always wrong)
• Do you deny the brain-damaging and addictive nature of porn? (research it)
• Do you know about the relational ramifications of porn? (it is always damaging)
• Do you know what porn does to the soul? (it sucks the life out of it)
• Do you believe it is prudish or old-fashioned to be against porn? (it is not)
• Do you think accountability to help you stay away from porn is unnecessary? (you might want to think again)
• Have you considered what the Maker of females would say about the objectification of women in porn? (He has already spoken, Gen. 2:18)

“Of this sort – are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts.”

(2 Tim. 3:6)

Wondering if someone you love is involved with porn, but don’t want to seem paranoid…

Some or all of the following changes in behavior can be displayed and not have anything to do with pornography. On the other hand, some of these actions or a combination of them, could be a red flag. Let these warning signs move you not to overreact, but instead to pray for discernment.

• Changes in attitude about sexuality, dating, gender, relationships
• A more callous or crude view about beauty, love, God, and other soul issues
• Increases or decreases in the amount of physical touch they seek from others
• Sudden shifts in relationships (pulling away from healthy relationships and/or increasing on-line relationships)
• Seeming more secretive or guilty
• Behaving differently when it comes to technology
• Showing signs of depression or presenting sullen or dark mannerisms
• Appearing more anxious, angry, or moody
• Changes in sleep patterns
• Using words and language in a new or inappropriate way
• A drop in grades, work-ethic, reliability, or responsibility
• A dip in self-confidence

“These who resist the truth, men (and women) of corrupt minds, progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all.” (2 Tim. 3:8, 9)

Part 2 of this article will be published tomorrow.