Are you tired of one of your friendships? Or have things changed so much between the two of you that the friendship barely resembles what it used to be? Are you wondering if you should you stick around? Or has the hurt been too much? Have you been asking God if its ok to not be friends with a certain person anymore? 

Reflection

Before you make such a highly sensitive decision, consider this profound quote:

“No one can be that good for that long. Including you.”

Now, that statement doesn’t require you to keep a troubled relationship, but it does demand some specific analysis as you prayerfully decide what to do.

Action

First, what have you promised when it comes to this friendship? The more you declared before God and to them, the more you have to consider what it will mean if you go back on your word. (Mt. 5:37)

Second, is their behavior damaging to you or to both of you? You may be released of friendship obligation if that person is being unsafe, deceived you from the very beginning, or if the person is unrepentant as they repeatedly inflict hurt upon you. At a minimum, friendship separation may be warranted for a time if things have become toxic. This could be a really good time to get some perspective from someone who can be objective. (Prov. 1:5b)

Third, and this is a tough one, what if you’ve grown in different directions and don’t know how to come together again? Or even more bluntly, what if you just don’t like this person anymore? As long as damaging behavior is not occurring, growing apart is probably not a good reason to totally walk out on a friendship. In fact, it could be an indicator to plunge deeper into the Gospel – with yourself in mind. This doesn’t mean the Lord is going to tell you that you have to engage just like you used to; but it does lead to obedience and you being personally changed in the process. Not only will you end up feeling less conflicted, but you’ll become a more forgiving and loving person as well. (Jn. 15:17)

Long-suffering doesn’t come easy to people, but thankfully it’s one of the Fruits of the Spirit. (see, Gal. 5:22)

*This is the third article in a series of articles on friendship. If you’d like to learn more about what to do if you feel friendless, click here.  And if you’d like to read about considering receiving an old friend back into your life, click here.