Sex was created by God, and it’s use is defined by God. So, while the world and the enemy are degrading and misusing sex, Christians have the right and even the duty to celebrate it and put holiness back into God’s original design. The gift of having sex in marriage is not meant to be a prize for being a “good” Christian who avoids pre-marital or extra-marital sex. Rather, sex within the marriage covenant is an activity with vast spiritual implications.

Being in a Married, Sexual Relationship is an Opportunity

Sex in Marriage Makes Spouses into Better People

• Sex gives a man and a woman the chance to practice mutual regard for one another and, as such, a way to have more humility in general. (Eph. 5:21, 1 Pet. 5:5)
• Sharing your body intimately with another image bearer’s body is a sacred, mysterious way to keep each body for the Lord and to prepare one another for the possession of an eternal, glorified body. (1 Cor. 6:13, Eph. 5:25-33, Phil. 3:21)
• Following the Bible’s commands for how to treat the person you’re having sexual relations with can lead men and women to become better at loving all females and respecting all males. (Eph. 5:33)
• Sex within the realm of marriage invites each spouse to resist a consumerist mindset (“What is he/she doing for me?) and learn to think more highly of the other (“How can I sacrificially love him/her?”). (Phil. 2:3-4)
• The bonding that occurs when two people have sex in the context of marriage has a unique way of meeting male and female needs. When a man commits to only having sex with one woman/his wife, his eyes can become oriented toward her as the highest standard of beauty and pleasure. It can help him not to look at other women and lust, but instead to see other women as sisters not to be compared to his wife. When a woman commits to only having sex with one man/her husband, the emotional security her husband provides in such intimacy helps reflect the perfect care God has for her heart.

Sex in Marriage Furthers the Kingdom

• Being led by the man you share a bed with is a way for women to reflect dependency upon the Lord and for men to image His gentleness. (Eph. 5:22, 25)
• The practice of forgiveness between a man and a woman who are naked and unashamed celebrates the gospel and brings Him glory. (Gen. 2:25, Eph. 4:32)
• When a husband and wife unite sexually as one flesh, they mirror the union that Christ desires to have with His Bride (the Church) and show the world ultimate unity. (1 Cor. 15, 17, 19-20)

Sex in Marriage Blesses Society

• Others enjoy being around couples who have healthy, committed marriages.
• Youth see Truth at work when they see Christians valuing sex within marriage.
• Holy sexuality in marriages allows people who have suffered consequences of dysfunctional families, broken marriages, and hurtful experiences with sex to gain healing in the context of God’s redemptive work in other imperfect, yet obedient relationships. For more resources about personal and societal benefits of holy marriage and sexuality, click here.
• There’s joy in knowing that serving God and your spouse in intimacy brings Him glory, which is the purpose of human existence.

• For yesterday’s article, The Perspective Every Marriage Needs, click here.

Waiting to be in a Married, Sexual Relationship Is a Privilege

Waiting Teaches You How to Love Well

• You can start loving your future spouse as soon as you’re old enough to know the word marriage, and one way to begin this lifelong love is to keep all of your sexuality for that person.
• By building/joining a community of like-minded believers, you’ll be blessed to support one another in the commitment to God’s ways.
• Regarding sexuality as a sacred trait of marriage rather than as an idol for singles shapes you into a future spouse who doesn’t bring into marriage a destructive habit of idols.

Waiting Leads to Spiritual Maturity

• Pursuing virtues such as holiness, abstinence, and chastity makes you beautiful, honorable, and strong. For more about developing such virtues, click here. (Prov. 31:25, 1 Cor. 7:5, 1 Tim. 2:2, Heb. 13:4, 2 Pet. 1:2-4)
• Caring about proper experiences of sex is meant to help you value marriage. Then, with a high regard for marriage, you can better see how it points to God’s eternal plan. And ultimately, appreciating the gift of eternity through marriage and sex takes you to God Himself. (Is. 55:8-9, Eph. 5:32, Heb. 13:4)
• Waiting for sex in marriage helps you resist society’s reductionist messages that you’re the sum of your feelings, reminds you that you’re a child made in the image of God, and points your focus onto holistic development.

When You’ve Failed to Contain Your Sexuality to Marriage

• His grace is sufficient for all your past mistakes. Jesus will redeem the past and secure your present and future obedience in this area. (2 Cor. 12:9)
• Don’t believe the lies that you’re damaged goods, it’s too late for you, this path is too hard, or that God’s ways are not worth it. (1 Tim. 1:14-16)
• The Lord can use your brokenness, baggage, and trauma to grow you closer to Him in ways that might not be accomplished any other way. (Gen. 45:8, Heb. 12:11)
• Because of your mistakes, you have a unique voice to further the message that sex within a healthy, committed marriage really is the best life path.

Prayer & Blessing

“And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (Gen. 2:23-25)