Maybe it’s because you were rejected, experienced humiliation, had a painful failure, felt blamed and shamed, or went through a loss. Whatever the cause – now you feel insecure, sad, out of sorts, and are floundering. Now what?

Take some time, but not too much.  

• It’s ok to be a mess for a while when you’re hurting. But remind yourself it’s a temporary state of being and not a legitimate status. (Ps. 40:2)
• Because this is a vulnerable time, be especially wise with your relationships. Lean in towards the ones who have your best at heart. And notice if there is anyone taking advantage of your fragile condition or bringing out the worst in you. (Prov. 1:7-10)

Do an honest evaluation of your tendency to compare.

• Remember that comparing yourself to others alters your priorities and distracts you from God’s best. (Jn. 21:22; 2 Cor. 10:12-18)

• Despite the harmless and even good aspects of social media, the consequences of anxiety and covetousness are real. Make sure you have a technology plan in place that at least one other person knows about – so that social media doesn’t send you to even lower places. (Lk. 12:15, 25)
• Consider saying out loud to a trustworthy mentor what you’ve been saying to yourself to make sure it lines up with truth. (Phil. 4:8; Eph. 4:31)

Ask God for a reminder lesson.

• Often the most awkward seasons of life can have the sweetest outcome on the other side. Be very specific when you talk to God. Ask Him to help you actively fight against the temptation to measure yourself against the world’s standards, and to help you define yourself by what the Gospel declares. Check what you’re trying to accomplish in your own strength, and consider any tendencies you have to refuse forgiveness, grace, and confidence from the Savior. (Ps. 139:23, 24; Gal. 2:21)
• List some ways you’re feeling weak, inadequate, and lesser-than, and if you’re not sure exactly where it’s coming from, ask Him to reveal root causes. Then abide in Him (such as praying, thanking Him, reading His Word, worshiping, confessing, pouring out to Him, and obeying) as you wait for Him to answer. (Lk. 12:7; Jn. 15:7)
• During this season, He may lift you out of where you are and place you down someplace else. Or it may entail Him taking you back in time to see where He’s been leading you and preparing you for the next stage. And very likely He’ll show up where you least expect and explain to you how He’s got a plan to use you that’s just right for you. Since you were created for a purpose, you can be sure He’s using this struggle for a reason. (Ps. 18)
• Based on what He’s showing you, consider writing out an action plan that details how you can work on recovering confidence for the next stage of your life.

If you feel more overwhelmed than energized once you read these ideas for restoring your confidence, seek mentorship or counseling to break it down into small steps.

“Do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance…” (Heb. 10:35, 36)